The Masturbation Purity Test
Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".
The "submit" button is at the bottom.
Have you ever masturbated? (If not, you should go do so now instead of doing this.)
Tried more than one masturbation technique?
More than 5?
More than 10?
Every single technique on www.JackinWorld.com?
Ever visited the site?
More than once?
Are you a frequent visitor?
Is it your startup page?
Have you ever masturbated anally?
More than once?
And you liked it?
Liked it even more than masturbating non-anally?
Masturbated with foods?
Masturbated to a porn flick?
...to still pictures?
...while watching someone have sex?
Would you rather masturbate than have real sex?
Ever been masturbated?
Ever performed oral sex on yourself? (autofellatio)
...more than once?
...and you liked it?
...you didn't like it but continued because the thought of it was arousing?
...didn't pull out before ejaculation?
...did you swallow?
Ever masturbated in the wild?
...in public? (wherever there's a chance of getting caught)
...and you did get caught?
Ever performed oral sex on yourself while masturbating anally with foods?
If you answered yes to the above question, you get an extra point here.
...and here, too. Keep up the good work.
Ever masturbated in front of your computer?
...in front of the TV?
...under your bed?
...USING your bed?
...in front of another person?
...who was not your girlfriend?
Ever masturbated to an erotic story?
..that you didn't read on your computer?
Ever been to www.eroticstories.com?
...more than once?
...are you a frequent visitor?
...got an author acount?
...ever written a story that got a higher average vote than 6?
Ever masturbated to a gay/bi fantasy?
...while reading a homo-erotic story?
...watching homo-erotic images?
...a homo erotic-movie?
...in front of someone you knew was gay?
...did you do it BECAUSE you knew he was gay?
...did he join you?
...did it end up with the two of you having sex?
Check this box if you're not homophobic.
Check this box if you are bisexual.
Ever masturbated another man?
...in either case, using more than one technique? (not necessarily during one session)
...more than 5?
Ever masturbated someone else anally?
Masturbated someone else with foods?
...with kitchen tools?
Ever masturbated with toys?
...more than one type of toy?
...more than two?
...during one session?
Owned a sexual toy?
Bought it yourself?
Check this box if you were not nervous when paying for it. (heh heh heh)
Ever (accidentally) hurt yourself while masturbating?
Ever accidentally hurt yourself so much that you had to go to a hospital?
Ever masturbated until you were sore?
Ever ejaculated into your own mouth, but not while in a weird position (i.e. upside down) or with your penis in your mouth?
Check box if you didn't ask yourself why the heck you'd try to do that. :-)
Did you start masturbating before you were 15?
...before you were 10?
...before you were 7?!
Ever wished you had a longer penis only because autofellatio would be easier to perform?
Ever wished you were uncircumcized for masturbating reasons? (check box if you are uncircumcized)
Ever wondered if you were a complete pervert because of how you masturbated? (don't worry, you're not.)
Do you masturbate more often than once every week?
...once every other day?
...as soon as you get some privacy?
...even if you don't get some privacy?! (one day you'll get arrested, be careful)
Ever masturbated to orgasm twice in a row?
...twice immediately after each other?
Did this purity test arouse you?
...so much that you will masturbate after finishing it?
...are you in fact doing it right now?
These four last boxes are reserved for really cool people: if you have done something (related to masturbation) that you would never tell anyone about, but that was not covered in this test, check a box.