The Colorguard Purity Test
Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".
The "submit" button is at the bottom.
Have you ever made up part/most of a language for the guard
-tried to teach the band so they wouldnt ask what was being said
-was successful
do you find yourself no longer attracted to people out of band/guard
do you sit with only band people at lunch
-and scare the other people that sit there b/c of the topics
do you wonder about the sections without group nicknames
do you believe in seniority
-have you used it to get your uniform/locker/food, ect.
does your band director hate you
have you ever plotted the death of an old colorguard instructor that just wont go away
-admitted it to others
-and to them
have you ever used a point system on hitting band members and instructors
do you continously dance to the cadences
have you heard horror stories on the bus
-was it the percussion bus?
in the stands, do you scream out the words to the songs (I like mine with lettuce and tomato...)
ever missed a major thing for practice/competition
-been fired b/c you wouldnt skip practice
are most of your friends in guard
ever brought friends into the guard
-siblings?
do you refer to the guard/band instructor with a funny nickname (Pinky, Ug,that dude...)
does it scare your parents when you call them that in front of them
do you say 'dude' more then percussion
have you ever tried to teach someone how to twirl a flute/clarinet/ect.
do you own the cd to more then one song they play in the stands
do you have a pledge
-is it dirty
-was it before you corrupted it
do you pick on band people b/c they cant do cool things like we can
-do you get into trouble for it
-admit to it as well
-thrive on it
have you watched a show and interpreted everything pervertedly
have you jazz ran
-to class
do you roll your feet while walking
do you stay in step with everyone around you
-and yell at the people who dont
does your band director know more about your love life then that other person does
you get advice from him/her
-and heed it
do you twirl air flags
do you spin things that arent flags (brooms, branches)
-spin things that shouldnt be spun (notebooks, breadsticks, necklaces)
have you ever been severly injured by your flag (broken noses, ankles without skin, concussions...)
ever damaged someone else with your flag
do you get protective over your flag
-try to do damage to the people who touch your flag (sinners)
when people back away b/c your twirling too close, do you tell them it doesnt hurt... after a while...
have you ever broken an instrument b/c they just got too close when you were doing your routine
have you ever applied something other then toothpaste to your teeth to help you smile
-for more then just competition
ever been paid by a fellow band member to 'accidently' hit someone during a show
do you like bus rides
-esp on the way home when its dark and everyone is all loud and stuff
Have you ever had to explain what a part of your uniform does/how to put it on to a non-guard person?
when you see something on last year's show, do you have everything go through your head
have you ever fallen in love with someone who you know you cant have, but totally stalk anyway
does really good, together drill excite you
-but does it *excite* you
do you have to say 'its a guard thing' more then once a week
Did you learn everything you need to know about life (and more) from the colorguard?
do you scare band member/instructors on a daily basis
-on purpose
-and they know it
finally, do you wonder how you lived before guard
Good going!